Resolve

The New Year harangues us with the need for changes in our lives. Various media and acquaintances heighten the assault. It is an endless cycle of procrastination and broken self-promises. There are plenty of sources for you to try and keep those New Year’s Resolutions but I am here to suggest you don’t make any at all.

You see - waiting for a date on the calendar will only generate excuses when the date occurs. If you want to change, do it now!

Telling yourself you will modify the situation and your place in the world is different than actually doing it. We are creatures of habit after all, so we don’t really cater to change that easily. We need motivation.

Guilt and its cousin, regret can take a hike. You have decisions and choices. Decide now is the time to do whatever it takes to live a more beneficial and contented life and choose the right course to make it happen. That’s it. Is it easy? Most likely not (it’s that habit thing), however, if you believe to your core that what you want is what you need to express, then the burden does ease somewhat.

It’s hard to do what you love, so do what you are! What you do is a projection of who you are and because it is coming out of you, you will love it!

Now…who are you?

Fill Your Page

Doing what you love does not come without sacrifices somehow. Whether it is a drastic reduction in income or reduced family time, they are there. To many, those are worth it, but to many more, it is not in the cards. So how do we do accomplish or reach the goals that stoke the fires of our passions?

It’s in the margins.

Copyright Pink Sherbet Photography

Picture a piece of lined paper. Personally I prefer college ruled, but you roll with your image. Imagine jotting down everything you have to do in the body of the page. Those things we all have to do. Now, instead of doodling on the side of the page, write down all those things you’d like to do.

There are moments every day when those things can be worked on. It is possible that you will lose sleep along the way, so be prepared for that. That’s one of those sacrifices I mentioned. That being said, if this is something that drives you and you can’t imagine not doing, you will enjoy every moment of it by using every moment.

Living in the Now can seem like some mystical BS attainable only to the enlightened. Not so. It is as simple as being exactly where you are, doing precisely what you are doing. No hoity-toity, no wishy-washy, just here. Now.

No thinking about 5 o’clock on a Friday (unless it is of course). No pining away for some other activity that you are not doing (unless that is what you can focus fully on without distractions of what you really should be doing). If you are going to daydream, then give it your full attention. Otherwise, you are missing out on what is right in front of you that demands your attention. Not living in the moment can best be compared to texting while driving. Driving is a demanding effort that commands your attention. Doing something that takes away from that puts you at risk.

So in chasing passions one must have goals to strive for, but balance that with working on what one can right now. Remember Frogger? That arcade game where the goal was to navigate various obstacles to make it across to your goal is quite apt. There will be moments where we may take the eye off the short-term goal (the next hop) and falter. Knowing when to leap takes understanding what is around you, thus being aware of Now. Set the long-term goal, move toward it, do what you can now.

Give yourself freely, meaning be honest about what and who you are. Be genuine. Giving yourself can also be putting yourself completely into your passion. Living it, breathing it, and doing everything to make it happen. If it is some sort of business, then you will have expectations. You put your heart and most likely money into something and will be looking for some return.

Interpersonal relationships are a way to give yourself without expecting a return. It will come about most likely, but going into it thinking, “what can I get out of this,” is only placating some internal fantasy of how you see yourself. Be good for goodness sake without thinking of how it may make you appear to others.

I get it!

My aha moment.

It was well edited for length I am sure and to be honest I did flub a few moments. I also should say my aha moment did help me meet over the course of years many people who I would have never met and I am grateful to know all of them and call many of them friends.

Be well.

What is the condiment?

"Where do these stairs go?"

When Ray asks that question, Peter replies, “They go up.”

I have always loved that scene from Ghostbusters. The pure audaciousness of the answer in its obviousness gets me every time.

Answers require effort to be found, however. Climbing stairs is apt, insomuch as we tend to look up to goals. Reaching them takes some determination (step by step) on our part but the reward is well worth it.

Will it be easy? Depends on the staircase. A straight run has the next floor in sight. Some stairs have landings where we can take a break before turning and heading up again. Spiral stairs hide the goal as well as the steps a few strides ahead of us and can make us dizzy from the climb.

So let’s call it challenging. Each step has distinct rewards. Every one is a little accomplishment raising you up. You have the goal in mind but you can’t take focus off the steps happening right now. You may catch a toe on the tread and stumble. When that happens you have the handrail to help you keep your balance.

What lies at the top of your staircase?

Brew Night

Thanks to Pete, Horton, Trevor, Cristi, Tod, Beth, Rod, Adrian, Norma, and Jason for attending Brew Night in Omaha! There were some good conversations and information exchanged!

Jumping the Line

A lot of us toil away doing things that hold us down. What is it you really want to be doing? What’s stopping you from doing it? We are in a great time to reach out for those dreams and catch them.

There is no reason you should not be fulfilling your passions. None. You don’t have to quit your day job. Yet. And no, you can’t just add water and expect it to happen. It takes effort and time for anything to grow. But if you love it, that doesn’t matter. Imagine when you look back and see what you nurtured and created.

That’s where I come in. I assess where you are and what you want to accomplish. Together we establish the path with lines in the sand for you to leap over to reach your goal, and I hold you to jump them. I am going to push you too. You will know what you want, and I want you to have it. This is about creating a great time, relishing life, and doing what you love.

Shoot me an email, and we can set up a time for a chat, on me. Or if you know of someone that could use that kick in the butt to get moving, have her or him drop me a line.

Ride The Wild Wind

Spun around by the chaos of the every day, we can lose that sense of direction from time to time. That’s okay. Enjoy it.

Waitaminute! Enjoy it? Really?

Yep.

The character that shines through when you hold your head up and smile at the craziness all around will relax you and those near you to an extent. It can also give you a clearer picture of what is happening so you can do what needs to be done.

When you are really not sure of what is going on or where it may lead, trust your gut. Do what feels right.

Too often we can overanalyze the moment, listing off the various things that may happen, good or bad. On occasion, the louder voice beats down the one that should be heard or followed. These are the times when you need to improvise. Improvise in the sense that you have your experience and faith in your ability to tap into and do what needs to go down.

Let me tell ya, it ain’t easy, but it can be done! The way you do it is you get out of the way and let things unfold and what you do will come naturally, and you will relish in it.

I have worked in a couple of industries that gave me that “deadline rush.” That sense of just making it in the nick of time, pushed up to the last moment, can take it out of you but leave you energized as well.

When you are focused on the task, you and the moment are one. You flow through the tasks to reach the final goal.

When have you trusted your gut and did what felt right?

Got a Question for ya!

Somebody give me a beat(down)

Ever have a gut check from an outside source to make you second-guess what you are doing? This anxiety can stop us in our tracks and the wheels just spin over and over without moving us along.

Your brain loops a beat of ominous drums in the distance sparking that fear. Those thumpings distract us like the chuffing of bad subwoofers in the trunk of a passing car.

Figuring out how to use that can be as simple as feeling the groove they offer. Adding that beat to yours eases the fretfulness and may even inspire you.

Not fighting it and allowing the waves to wash over you can clarify your brain with the shock of ice water. The shake up of that moment may help you see things from a new perspective.

It is okay to have these feelings and concerns as long as you accept them for what they are and do not let them shut you down. Stay with your dream; keep your goals in sight.

If you hear the drums, start dancing.

Leave Some Change Behind

Any interaction is an open door to affect someone and motivate. In some cases this could be a movement toward change.

When we come together with anyone, we have a distinct opportunity to affect that person. Ideally, we strive to better the relationship somehow and part with buoyed spirits and a clearer, perhaps different, outlook.

In that instance, the change we leave could be an affirmation of the path we are on. Just through conversation, we can clarify and set goals for ourselves.

Granted, reaching those goals can be a difficult road and help may be needed along the way in various forms. In a lot of cases, the answer is in you but the right question may not have been asked yet.

Has someone asked you the right question yet?

Button Pusher

How many of you when at the crosswalk or elevator hit the button more than once, or even push it and wait a little, then push it again? Be honest!

Now, how many of you push it once then and kick back and wait secure in the knowledge what you set into motion will pan out?

What happens?

Well, both scenarios have the same result don’t they? The light changes allowing for safe passage or the doors open to ferry you to another floor.

However, repeaters can begin to get frustrated and antsy, and quite possibly become impatient enough to jaywalk or take the stairs. Let alone adding an unneeded anxiety to their day.

Why?

When set out to accomplish something more and more we want the result now. We look for short cuts or alternatives when letting things unfold the way they are meant to have a better reward.

Think about that. Would you want the surgeon to cut through your liver to get to your heart? How about a contractor building your home using leftover bits on your plumbing to make it work? Sure, those are “big” ones. How about a cook not washing his hands because the restaurant is hopping and he needs the food to go out, or unwrapping your breakfast while driving?

Take your time, being the moment, set it all in motion and see what happens. All these take a bit of faith in you, in the machinations, in the goal and reaching it.

Overnight sensations are anything but. The hard fought battles are seldom seen behind the blinding success, but they are there. Every one of us sets our sights. Every one of us takes a deep breath. Every one of us pushes the button.

Do you double tap?

“Do you have a black belt?”

One of the most influential movies in my life is The Karate Kid. It continues to resonate to this day. Every once in a while, I dig it out and watch it again and take away something new each time

Beyond the iconic “wax on, wax off” mantra, lays a message about how to live and how to treat others.

I watched it recently and was admiring the choice of settings to further emphasize the difference between teaching styles of Kreese at the Cobra Kai Dojo and Miyagi.

The Cobra Kai trained in a stark white square space with a defined hierarchy led by a tyrannical dictator. Driven by fear, the student’s achievements are hollow, lacking the characteristics to be a real person. Kreese’s message of “No mercy,” limits the range of feeling and intent of his art.

Miyagi’s dojo was the everyday locale of his garden, the lake, and beach or around his house. Daniel’s lessons resonate across the spectrum of life and are not limited to the karate. By showing Daniel the purposefulness of movements and the ability of those to transcend the physical, Miyagi provides a way of living a fuller life.

What type of environment helps you learn?

Forget the Joneses

I have questions on some of my business cards. One of them reads, “Whose life are you living?” This is tapping into that unneeded competition of trying to stay ahead of your neighbors. Your life is yours; so focus on it.

It is easy to look at others and think they have nicer things or a better job and all that. All the while downplaying who you are. We compare ourselves to the point of detriment sometimes.

You do not need to measure yourself up to others in that way. Let them live their lives and explore your own. Like what you like because you like it and not because your neighbor does. Do what you do because it drives you and not something someone else thought you should.

Are you doing what you want, or doing what is expected?

Dog Pile

When I was a kid, we occasionally would spontaneously tackle someone and the rest would jump on with the battle cry - “DOG PILE!”

Little did we know this was a lesson at the time. There are moments when we feel blindsided, laid out and buried.

In the day-to-day events of our lives, we can let things heap up and bury us but there is a way out. Unlike the randomness of child’s play, we usually see the mass building. Regardless of job or tasks, we see them plainly.

When we see it coming toward us, we have time to prioritize and prepare. Unfortunately, we get inundated because we missed something or we get a surprise deadline.

In these moments we may start suffering from anxiety and think we are being dog piled. This is the time to assess the situation and feel for a way out. Those items close at hand may not be the ones needing the most focus, but they are right in front of you – take them out. Either you push them aside or finish them off.

The key is not let the pile make you give up. Systematically approaching the load and deliberately removing the pieces bit by bit will get you there. One thing to keep in mind is to be flexible to any more bits added to the existing hillock. Let them come and decide if they need to be tackled now or later. Slowly you will come out of the pile and use the items to build a foundation on which you can structure the items coming in where you want them to be.

Have you dug yourself out? How did you do it?

The Fear

Holy cow! This is a big one with many facets. Whenever we consider something new or a shift in direction, we start hearing that voice of trepidation. It rattles around our head knocking at the plan.

We get comfortable where we have established ourselves and rattling the cage can be scary.

It is good to have the fear. It can be a check to assure us we are on the right path – it’s that inquiring voice. The flipside of that is it can also hold us back when we need the change most by asking the wrong questions.

Internalizing the fear can lead to you talking yourself out of whatever you are considering. To avoid this, get it out of your head and tell someone. Speaking your idea to someone can lessen the fear and help you realize you are moving in the right direction.

A side effect of this depends on whom you tell it too. This can lead to fear transference and suddenly you are affecting more than your life. Heavy!

The “how-will-your-decision-affect-me,” kicks in with the other person. This generates fear in them. They have an investment in you and the deeper the connection, the more palpable the fear. If you know deep in your heart that your passion is driving you on the correct course, then they will see it and stand with or behind you. And if they don’t, perhaps it is best to leave them behind.

Have you felt that trepidation?

Did it stop you?

Did you plow ahead regardless?

Pardon me. Do you have the time?

We often tend to view time as shaped like a giant hourglass with the sands of time trickling through a tiny time hole between future and past. These grand imaginative vistas of what has gone and what lies ahead overwhelm our view of what really is.

Actually, what we have is a horizon-smashing moment that is HUGE! Think about it, you can do anything you want to right now.

“What? No way, I have a job to do and loads of other responsibilities that I have to consider before me.”

I am not saying to shirk what needs to happen here at all. What I would really love is for everyone to be more fully here and now. Too many of us drift off with some longing of elsewhere and other things to do. Have you asked yourself, “Is it five o’clock yet?”

When we focus on what is right in front of us, we are able to commit to whatever we are doing wholeheartedly. Amazingly, the time flies by.

Now is the time to rethink how you view the moment. What are some ways you can be more here and now?

ACL-OW!

In July of 2002, while at a martial art seminar in Oklahoma City, I popped my anterior cruciate ligament (ACL). No, it did not feel pleasant.

In November of that year, I had it repaired and I started physical therapy and the relearning of things. Over the months after popping it, I adjusted how I moved. My body had adjusted to compensate somewhat. I had to get as close to normal as possible.

It took longer than I wanted, but I got back close to pre-popping mobility after about a year. I had specific milestones laid out with the goal of particular movements I wanted to be able to do again. By the end of that year, I could. In many ways the ligament is stronger, but I also have some limitations. I adjusted.

The thing is, it didn’t stop me. Sure, my body was altered but I adapted and am stronger in many ways, especially mentally. We all have these pop quizzes from time to time to test us, shake us up and keep us moving!

Anything ever knock you back forcing you to learn again?

Overcoming Perfection

I have never been a fan of perfection as the ultimate ideal or as a goal. This is not to say that doing one’s best can’t get you close to the perception. I recall telling people, “practice doesn’t make you perfect, just better.”

Does the idea of perfection prevent you from the attempt? The adage, “If you can’t do something well (or right), why do it at all?” comes to mind. I find this to be off the mark somehow. So what if we redefine the word?

Perfection has imperfectness. It is all part of the balance. Imagine everything being perfect in every detail. Can you?

When I was learning some new techniques in a martial art style from a peer whom I didn’t see that often, I mentioned my concern about doing something wrong. His response was, “Just do it. We can fix the little things later, but at least you are doing something.” To me, that’s the key; regardless of my skill level, as long as I am doing it, I am getting better at it. Will I be perfect every time? No. Will there be moments when I nail it? Yes.

The experience helps us grow and define who we are, helps us learn and understand along with broadening the view.

What is something you are willing to try regardless of outcome?

Break Through

When I started training in the martial arts, I was overweight and so out of shape I was consistently teased that the smelling salts were on hand.

I can honestly say that there were a few occasions when, while kneeling in a corner trying to catch my breath, I thought about throwing in the towel, but I kept getting up for more.

One aspect of the training that I could not wrap my brain around was a stick drill that involved weaving them as well as mirroring the movement on both sides of the body. For some reason, I had a huge block in my head on this drill.

One day after struggling with it for literally a couple months, a fellow student took me under his wing to help me get it. He broke down the movements step-by-step on one side until I got those. Then we did it on the opposite side until I was flowing through the movements. By the end of the class I had it.

After that, whenever I have a challenging moment, I break it down “by the numbers,” as we used to say. Now when I hit that barrier, I step back and approach the problem or task methodically until I have it completed.

As for that stick drill, I literally do it in my sleep.

What is something you once found difficult but now consider second nature?

Decisions, decisions...

When you walk up to any counter to order food or a drink, it is possible to become overwhelmed with the number choices and the options associated with them. A lot of us know what we want, but when given too many options, we freeze. For many, we default to what we know we like from past experiences.

I have experienced this myself and witnessed it with many friends. With so many options, I generally find something I have had before. To break this cycle, I now stand back and look at all the options in front of me to really take it all in. That risk of trying something entirely fresh invigorates me.

How and where can you try something new?

Who wants coffee now?

Three Sheets to the Wind

Maintaining your sight on the goal can be difficult, especially in uncharted waters with a squall coming on. The lines can come loose on the sail and leave it flapping in the breeze leaving you meandering on the whim of wind and tide.

This is a moment of action to retie the ropes, make a course correction and venture on.

What are some ways you get back on track?

Gary Vaynerchuk: Do what you love (no excuses!) | Video on TED.com

Gary Vaynerchuk: Do what you love (no excuses!) | Video on TED.com

Look in the mirror!!

Fork it

Okay. You have reached a point in your life and need to make a decision. It could be about anything: career, relationships, health and fitness. Is it weighing you down, holding you back? Welcome to the proverbial fork in the road.

Which way to turn could be on a sign right in front of you, or your gut is nagging at you to go one way while your brain thinks it is the opposite.

The decision on which direction is often difficult, and I am here to help you choose the path you truly deserve.

It may mean going off road.

A bit of history

My path to becoming a life coach started when I delved deeper into the study of martial arts.
I was relatively fresh out of college, recently single and my weight was pushing the deuce. I had to do something, pronto!
I had taken some Tae Kwon Do in high school and touched on it again in college, but I needed something different.

As fate would have it, a new school opened up literally blocks from home and I stopped in to check it out.
Long story short, I joined and began training in Jun Fan - Jeet Kune Do Concepts, which is the art and philosophy of Bruce Lee.
The major thing that Bruce Lee stressed was it’s all on you. You have the power and drive to make the change you want to see. This journey is not made in a vacuum, however, and we do seek guidance from others.

This philosophy touched me most and I started asking myself questions. You know, the big ones like, “Who am I?” and “What can I do to improve myself?” Over time, those questions came up again with people I was talking with by way of me asking them. I found the conversations were boarding on life altering, and after some period of time I heard some have been. A simple conversation opened up the possibilities, and I was happy to be a part of that transition.

I moved along with a few careers and was never really satisfied with any of them. No surprise as over half of working Americans are not pleased with their jobs either.

When I found myself at that moment of change, I made the leap. I re-evaluated who I am and decided quite quickly to become a certified life coach. I already had the ability to ask the questions and it just needed to be taken to 11.

I look forward to clarifying people’s goal and guiding them along the path of their choosing!

My Line in the Sand

My line in the sand reappears often. I shudder when thinking of going into a new situation: Will I be accepted for who I am and will me, being me, jive with the group? This imaginative barrier is one that takes some self-motivating to get past.

We all have these moments of self-doubt and I believe they stem from that need of feeling included. Common bonds strengthen us and help us express ourselves especially when we are accepted for who we are.

One tactic I use is to mention it to others and they hold me accountable to go, knowing that I will enjoy it and take away something new from the experience.

After the event, I am glad I participated and feel good about myself crossing that line in the sand.

First Step

I know one of the hardest steps can be the first. Hey, you know what? You have already taken it by seeking me out, so you are off to a great start. Those steps from here on will strengthen your resolve and assure you as you gain momentum.

Along the way you may flounder and lose sight of the destination. Asking for a hand can sometimes feel like a loss, but we do it every day. Seeking guidance is not failure at all but strength of character. There are just some things you can’t do alone. Knowing when to reach out and who to go to will assist in accomplishing the task at hand.

I am that voice that gets you energized and moving.

Support

Whenever we contemplate change or ideas and discuss them with others, we occasionally hear only reticence and doubt, even when there is positive support. Change can be very frightening to those around us as they often wonder what your changes mean to them. Those feelings can inhibit the pursuit of your goal.

Regardless of the source, these chinks in the armor protecting your dream can add up. My goal is to get you to endure those moments, provide a shield to assist in deflecting those negative statements, and help you achieve all that you can.

I will walk with you along your path for a bit and be a guide toward your destination.

I’ll do it tomorrow.

This phrase is the bane of achievers. If something needs to be done or stopped, now is the only time to do it.

One consequence of not taking care of something when it needs to be is it is added to an ever-growing pile of things that will only hold you back.
Sure there are things you can put off until the time is right like laundry and dishes since both of those are more efficiently done in batches, but the big stuff needs to be tackled now.

The longer one hems and haws over an issue the more difficult the decision can be. It may be hard and quite possibly not that enjoyable, but if one focuses on the process and just plows through, it will be done and you can move on.

Get up, get out and get moving!

Failure is part of the process

Straight up – you are going to misstep along the way. We all miss the mark at some point. These are learning moments and it is how we let failure affect us that is important.

The best thing is to understand it will happen at some point. Failure is not the be-all end-all of things. It shakes you up a bit and may make you step back and question a few things – that’s okay! What you should take away is the lesson the failure gives you.

This is, after all, a work in progress, this life we are living, so we are bound to stumble from time to time. You have someone ready to lend a hand and get you back on your way.

Controlled Burn

Envision your mind as a vast prairie lush with growth. Daily needs interweaved with dreams and ideas. With such fertile ground, the area soon becomes overgrown and perhaps non-indigenous species are introduced that begin to choke out aspects of your true self.

In nature, a storm may come along with intense lightning and set the landscape ablaze. When man maintains a prairie, every few years we go through and do a controlled burn to, in essence, reboot the land. A number of plants in these habitats in fact require fire to germinate. The fire may also cleanse the land of the introduced species that did not evolve to survive such an extreme.

When you look at your life do you feel like you need a machete to clear a path? Perhaps what you really need is a controlled burn: a fresh start. Like the prairie, you can renew and live the life you should be. Essential needs will grow back and perhaps you will come across something long forgotten which was buried beneath the overgrowth.

This can be a rather extreme approach, but can be the most rewarding in the long run. It takes serious contemplation and may need someone to light the fire for you. Know anyone with a match?

BPM

Finding something that will charge you up and excite you about your goal is easy and fun.

One thing I recommend is building some form of playlist of songs that get you going. Music can relax the brain and allow it to be more receptive to ideas as well as energize you to get moving!

It can be as subtle as a string quartet or as brow beating as angst-driven punk. Whatever it is, it is what wakes you up!

One key to reaching your goal and pushing the boundaries of who you are is maintaining a positive mood. While it can be difficult at times, as long as you focus on the destination and having a good time along the way, you will succeed!

And away we go!

Welcome to an aspect of Line In The Sand Jumper I am producing for my clients and friends to go to for inspiration and encouragement.

I will post here from time to time with ideas or thoughts on how to move toward one's goals while maintaining a sense of fun.
My hope is the comments will be a guidepost on your road to remind you of the direction you are headed and to keep the eyes on the destination while enjoying where you are.

Be well and create fun!